we should all start vagueposting depressing song lyrics again
with a few exceptions (+ your poem/song rec)
cw: depression, brief mentions of self-harm + suicide
I don’t miss being a teenager. The angst. The yearning. The desire to be seen but never known. I do, however, miss shouting into the void without expecting a voice to call after me. I miss the era where it was acceptable to post sad song lyrics on my Facebook status after every big feeling.
Accepting that healing, in large part, comes from allowing my loved ones to show up for me, is one reason why my recovery continues to be difficult. Recovering from depression and suicidality doesn’t happen in isolation. To be supported means that your loved ones no longer ignore the warning signs.
These days, if they see something concerning, there are no passive likes and shares. If, today, I posted a story with the brakence lyric “I was tryna make a living / Well I did, and now I don't wanna live at all,” I would receive texts + calls with strongly-worded urges to email my therapist.
I could write these feelings in my journal. Write a poem. A short story. An essay for Substack1. Something for myself or something with nuance and context which assures my loved ones and readers that, I am okay, I promise. I’m feeling this way, but we don’t have to make a big deal about it.
And yes, many times, I want people to know about my darkest thoughts and not make a big deal about it. To quote Noah Kahan on my story, and say “I was workin’ on a plan to disappear completely” or “Fuck it, I might even disappear”2 without my friends worrying that I might actually disappear.
To add some seriousness and nuance to this topic, I do think there’s middle ground between wanting to be witnessed in your sadness and needing someone to take action beyond the noticing. Sometimes, we don’t know when we need help until we’ve fallen so far down that hole that we can’t reach the hand outstretched to us.
To be loved comes with consequence. My history of self-harm and suicide attempts proves that I have struggled to ask for help, to want help, and to accept help. If I posted Paramore’s lyric “You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole / and convinced yourself that it’s not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore,” my friends have reason to be concerned for me. I have, many times before, made that bed for myself, have not wanted to see the sun.
For me, it comes down to this: There is a difference between sharing art that resonates with you, and a warning sign. Only you know the difference. Sometimes we just want to share a new song that’s been on repeat. A lyric that helped us through grief or loss or heartbreak. Sometimes it’s too hard to ask for help, so we choose to shout into the Instagram notes void, instead.
And sometimes, publicly sharing what resonates with us results in us being seen and cared for in ways that feels so scary that you wish you were 17 again, alone in your bedroom, isolated with your thoughts.
Today, I feel sad. I feel the depression creeping in, and I want to isolate, and I know this means I should talk to someone. I want to post Julia Wolf’s lyric “I’m on the wrong side of 30 / and now I’m starting to worry.” I want everyone to know that it is still hard for me to ask for help, to accept help, and that I still have days when I nothing more than to fall into darkness and not have anyone chase me.
I also want everyone to know: I understand the feeling will pass with time, as it always does. Feelings loop and repeat just like my favorite playlists. I worry for me, and I know I have worked hard to be safe. I will share my favorite sad songs, because I know other people like them, too. And when my friends say they are worried about me, I will let them bet worried, I will let them show up, I will let them love me until I feel like me again.
1Can you tell that this was my thinly-veiled way to post all the song lyrics I’ve been wanting to post on my story?
2 I can’t stop listening to this album. It’s becoming a problem.
speaking of sad songs, i’m hosting a writing workshop:
i was recently offered a spot to attend the Bread Loaf Writers’ conference, and while it is a dream of an opportunity, it’s so expensive. i’m endlessly grateful to my community; with your help i have already raised over $3,000 of the $4,400 tuition cost.
in addition to donations, i am also hosting a generative writing workshop where we’ll analyze and annotate your favorite songs and use them to generate our own work. all genres + writing levels welcome, sliding scale prices available. can’t wait to write with you <3
poem of the week:
In the dark we crush by Julia Cohen
playlist of the month:
this is an oldie, but recently updated it and am bringing it back for summer as i recently included it in a send to my Lifeline snail mail recipients. i love songs that make me want to both cry and dance !
all the love, all the warmth, all the light,
housekeeping:
need a lifeline? get mail from me each month, sliding scale options available.
i made a doc full of book recommendations for people who want to read more poetry but don’t know where to start!
don’t forget to complete your one click today to support aid efforts in Palestine
unfold: poetry + prose, is available on amazon, bookshop, indigo, b&n, or wherever you get books <3
you can still buy paper girl from amazon, barnes & noble, indigo, or your local indie.
i love you. and i see you. and i am so glad you're here.
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who i am: a writer, a lover, and a very Black + queer person. i love deeply, forget rarely, and spend most of my time cuddling with my dog, my cat, and my partner.
who i'm not: a therapist, mental health professional, or emergency service. i love hearing the stories of your experiences, but please don't send explicit or triggering details of your story without my prior consent.
if you're in crisis, please call 911 or use any of the following resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Crisis Text Line: Text HELP to 741741
S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends): 1-800-DONT-CUT (366-8288)
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237
RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-4673
Yes to this 100%. I want to start an IG account just to vaguepost depressing song lyrics. I suspect people stopped doing this because it feels like a disturbance but it’s 2026 so the time is now isn’t it?
Really resonated with this, thank you 💜